CANCER:

Your main feature is your highly developed imagination. In your younger years you most likely lived in your own illusory world rather than reality. Touchy and vulnerable, you get distressed when others take your ideas light-mindedly and even more so if your fantasies are scoffed at. If mockery continues you withdraw into yourself and stop trusting even the closest people. At times you are wrongly accused of deception, although you are actually a lousy liar and your fibs usually have a short life. Your boundless imagination is often mistaken as deliberate lies but actually it is your defense mechanism. Your hypersensitive psyche needs protection against callous and unfeeling people. Thus, you have no other option than surrounding yourself with the mist of mystery and hiding within. Your ability to simultaneously live both in a real and illusive world may create a lot of trouble and provide a shaky ground. Your reliance on subliminal impulses often brings chaos upon you and your world. Appointed with a task, you are likely to idle along all day in expectation of the set hour, canceling every affair you could have done in the meantime, and when the time for action comes, you miss it, because you were engrossed in a conversation or failed to check whether the clock is correct.

Although you are sympathetic to the suffering of others, you are often unreliable and tend to excuse your lack of responsibility with changed circumstances. Due to your longing for clarity and harmony, you are sincere, open to compassion, sympathy and sacrifice.

I'm interested to know you if you're sincere to know me: I talk to too many people to retain much about you right off, but if you're a sincere friend, i'll learn you. without a pic your name would mean nothing. it's best we stay on this venue to chat. because too many of you find it rude whereas I find it ignorant to expect me to know you on yahoo when you don't introduce yourself properly to include your name here and this site's name....if that's asking too much then we're not gonna make good chat buddies..."The Pastor's Salary

This is a story about a popular young Baptist preacher, who on Sunday

morning announces to the congregation that he will not renew his

contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him

more.

There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.

Bubba, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If

the preacher stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and

his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs, and applauds.

Billy Bob, the entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the

preacher stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to

guarantee the college education of his children!!" More sighs and

applauds

Ms. Ella May, age 87, stands and announces, "If the preacher stays,

I'll give him SEX!!"

There is a hush. The preacher, blushing, asks, "Ms. Ella May, whatever

possessed you to say that?"

Ms. Ella May answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and

he said....F*** him!"

Loves Gil and MJ More Than Life.'s Comment:

"OMG I almost peed my pants. I love this one."

A man woke up early in order to have his morning devotion (prayer) in the Lord's house (church). He got dressed, set on his way to the Lord's house. On his way to the church, the man fell and his clothes got dirty. He got up, brushed himself up, and headed home. At home, he changed his clothes, and was, again, on his way to the Lord's house. On his way to the church, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes and was on his way to the Lord's house. On his way to the church, he met a man holding a lamp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied 'I saw you fall twice on your way to the church, so I brought a lamp so I can light your way. The first man thanked him profusely and the two went on their way to the church. Once at the church, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray. The man replied, 'I am Satan'. The man was shocked at this reply. Satan went on to explain, 'I saw you on your way to the Church and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on your way to the church, God forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to Church. Because of that, God forgave all the sins of the people of your household. I was afraid if I made you fall one more time, then God will forgive the sins of the people of your village, so I made sure that you reached the house of God (Church) safely.' Do not put off the good you intended to do as you never know how much reward you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that good. For your righteousness can save your family and nation at large. Do this and see the victory of the Lord. If forwarding this message will bother you, or take too much time from you, then don't do it, but you will not get the reward of it, which is great. Wouldn't it be easy just to press 'Forward' and receive this reward? Praise be to God in the highest...

"NEVER MAKE SOMEONE YOUR PRIORITY WHEN ALL YOU ARE TO THEM IS AN OPTION"

Page Turners............. the ones that I write myself!

Hey sister! Go sister, soul sister, go sister,

Hey sister! Go sister, soul sister, go sister.

He met Marmalade down in Old New Orleans

Struttin' her stuff on the street

She say, "Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?"

Getcha getcha ya ya da da, getcha getcha ya ya here

Mocha chocolata ya ya creole Lady Marmalade.

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up

The boy drank all that magnolia wineUpon her black satin sheet where he started to freak

Getcha getcha ya ya da da, getcha getcha ya ya here, . . .

Voulez-vous coucher lavec moi ce soir? . . .

Touchin' her skin feelin' silky smooth, colour of cafe au lait

Made the savage beast inside roar until it cried

More - more - more

Now he's back home doin' nine to five, livin' his grey flannel life

But when he turns off to sleep, old mem'ries creep

More - more - more

Getcha getcha ya ya da da, getcha getcha ya ya here, . . .

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?